I was watching this Andy Lau's movie VCD, "在说一次我爱你" in the night..after visiting uncle Bernard in the hospital. Know that he is down artery cancer. Sudden relapse of the pain he was warded and had not consume any food for over a week.
Man, in such pain...felt shame when he sees us.. mainly me i think...
His family didnt inform Dad that he was warded until much later..after the lanturn festival.
I can't match the uncle i used to know..chubby..funny...and the one who baked so many of my growing up cakes...marking every stage of my life..my dad's best friend ..so dear to him, with the one lying on the bed.
Writting this makes me tear. How advance medical treatments the world has achived...there are still ppl they can't help. Uncle has litterally shrunk into a man i totally couldnt recongise, half the man he was.
He was avoiding eye contact with everyone..including Dad..it makes Daddy very sad...He wanted us to visit him incase we missed it. Patient in pain...the man i knew lost is pride..lost is choice in controlling his life.. He doesn't want us to see him in such stage.
I just can't console my dad , when my words has not power to make things better.
The movie somehow reflected the love that is needed. It touched me...I needed it to release the feelings within me...I really hope he gets well...thats the only thing i can do..
All has to come to an end with oneself, but i really hope is not in such painfully manner.
-= A liTTle Crazy worLd =-
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